This is it! I'm here at 40 and I really feel good about it! I fought fought the idea of growing old each year, even holding tight at 30 for a few years. At least in my mind. I think it was because I felt. Like thee was so much I was suppose to have accomplished and wasn't ready to head down the other side of the hill of life. I realiZed over the hill was at 50 but still, it felt like death was upon me.
But then it came. Surrounded by a few great friends, a great meal, a beautiful family with smiling faces, we ushered in my new era. A new fresh chapter. And to be honest, it felt fabulous. Felt fabulous in the way that all my prior life's bumps and bruises didn't have to follow me into these new days of official maturity. That was it! I was officially a wise woman. A woman with a wealth of knowledge and experiences that confirmed to me that I did at least for a moment feel like I am exalts who was meant to be!
So on I go, into the wild blue yonder of feeling comfortable in my skin. Being the oldest in many circles I may partake. Being a woman in the know. Funny...I probably could have felt this way along the way to a point but the lingering doubt of adolescents and youthful folly seems to repeat in my ear, "you aren't qualified yet!" Qualified yet for what, I wasn't sur but I assume, I qualified to have an important part in the contribution to the circles I engaged in.
But now, it is a brand new existence of promise. My promises to myself, to be good to me. To be patient. To laugh at the imperfections and sigh over the silly this to come. Ultimately, this is a new chance to well...relax and not take myself so seriously. Ahh, the sound of that is so calming. So reassuring to my mind. To be able to exist and just be. Be the me I was created to be.
This brings me to the sweetest part of this transformation of life. I can rest in wing that my Great and mighty God has brought me safe thus far and just asthe hymn says, and safe he will lead me home!