Have you ever noticed when looking at the night sky full of brilliant stars that when you attempt to stare at a star alone, that, it seems to dim immediately. Then you look away, and take in the full night sky and that one particular star, starts to shine brighter again. Weird? As if, it knows it's place is a part of the fullness of the sky, and it is then that it shines brightest and you see it more clearly.
I find myself thinking alot about where my confidence lies. Unfortunately it doesn't always lie where it should. Sometimes I think I have found it. Perhaps on a day when I have a fresh hair cut or when an outfit from my closet actually fits. Can I get a witness?
But on those day, this all too illusive "confidence" once again gets up and disappears. I usually end up trying to figure out where it went! This is the all too absent, "self-confidence".
The reality is...this is not confidence at all. It is self preoccupation. Focusing on self. Confidence on the other hand is what the Psalmist proclaims, "I put no confidence in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory" "In God we make our boast ALL day long, we will praise Your name forever!" My confidence is in the consistent (ALL day) assurance and adoration (we will praise You) given to my Heaven Father and HIS perfect abilities. If I spend one ounce of my strength searching for confidence in my own abilities, I will never find it.
Just like with the little star, I have to keep my eyes from focusing on myself and continue to stay gazing at the glorious fullness of God. Only then will I see clearly the brilliance of God's design for my life.
Ps. 71:5, Ps. 56:4, Ps. 44:6, Gal. 5:10